Brand new blog, brand new year (almost, sorta, like-new anyways!) and brand new approach.
At least, I'm continuing the exploration of new media, colours, styles and stuff that I began last year. I'm hoping, through this journey to explore the concept of Voice; my own Voice vs what is Expected of me or perhaps what I expect of myself (caught up in the Comparison Trap far too often and always found wanting).
You see, I began (back in the long ago) my artistic explorations innocently enough. I found a couple~three media I liked a lot (quill pen & ink; watercolour; charcoal) and played with them for a few years. I started doing commissions (houses, architecture, pets and even a couple of humans in there!!) and was soon sucked into Commission Land, where all my art was already spoken for, paid for and very secure. I was even able to quit my day job. Pretty sweet!
Then along came children - and creative burn-out at around the same time in life.
Oh, I did a few scattered commissions and a few personal projects but somehow lost the thread. The thread of "WHY", the deeply personal need to create.
Busyness, motherhood; sure they played a big part. Mostly because I know myself. I knew that once I delved into my creating world I would disappear or, seen another way, the world would disappear for me. Its a blissful state, really. However, not one that was compatible with raising four kids born within a span of five years. And I proved that to myself a few times.
Somehow I could not grasp the nettle of creating in splodges of time and space.
I tried. Witness the ink splattered drawings and ink puddles on the carpet.
So I set it aside.
As I shelved my creative world (aside from activities with the kids), my confidence withered and died or slumbered within so deeply I have had an enormous struggle to reawaken it.
But...I'm getting there. I'm waking up again.
Of course this means dealing with the Resistance (have you read the War of Art? Excellent read!). But I think I'm making progress against the Grumps and Gremlins; those insidious internal voices of "You Suck!" and "You'll never amount to anything" and "It Is Not Practical". I'm getting help along the way (I signed up for Melissa Dinwiddie's course "Your Big Bold Creative Life" online course) and I am making progress.
I am making progress.
Regardless of the size of my steps, they are mine and I am Victorious.
This is a Charcoal and white Conté piece I sketched last week. I discovered I still love charcoal and that I will let myself enjoy it more frequently. It is a great medium for me in the evenings as I must head to bed to stretch out fairly early. I have an autoimmune condition in which pain and fatigue can best be combated with rest periods. Dry media such as charcoal pencil (as long as I don't get too carried away and make a load of dust) and coloured pencils seem to suit my needs rather well I'm happy to discover.
At least, I'm continuing the exploration of new media, colours, styles and stuff that I began last year. I'm hoping, through this journey to explore the concept of Voice; my own Voice vs what is Expected of me or perhaps what I expect of myself (caught up in the Comparison Trap far too often and always found wanting).
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| Friesian Horse: Charcoal on Canvas |
Then along came children - and creative burn-out at around the same time in life.
Oh, I did a few scattered commissions and a few personal projects but somehow lost the thread. The thread of "WHY", the deeply personal need to create.
Busyness, motherhood; sure they played a big part. Mostly because I know myself. I knew that once I delved into my creating world I would disappear or, seen another way, the world would disappear for me. Its a blissful state, really. However, not one that was compatible with raising four kids born within a span of five years. And I proved that to myself a few times.
Somehow I could not grasp the nettle of creating in splodges of time and space.
I tried. Witness the ink splattered drawings and ink puddles on the carpet.
So I set it aside.
As I shelved my creative world (aside from activities with the kids), my confidence withered and died or slumbered within so deeply I have had an enormous struggle to reawaken it.
But...I'm getting there. I'm waking up again.
Of course this means dealing with the Resistance (have you read the War of Art? Excellent read!). But I think I'm making progress against the Grumps and Gremlins; those insidious internal voices of "You Suck!" and "You'll never amount to anything" and "It Is Not Practical". I'm getting help along the way (I signed up for Melissa Dinwiddie's course "Your Big Bold Creative Life" online course) and I am making progress.
I am making progress.
Regardless of the size of my steps, they are mine and I am Victorious.
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